Why?

I love sweets. i love cake. I really love sheet cake and it has been a mini-obsession with me lately. I love the fact that they are really the black sheep of cakes because hey let's face it... There isn't a lot to them. They're usually only one layer so there isn't any delicious filling inside. This is okay because doesn't that mean you're allowed to eat two pieces for the price of one? And lets talk about icing. Oh good lord the icing. I pretty much associate sheet cake with children's birthday parties, therefore usually having balloons and flowers and cartoons and the like on them. It really doesn't matter what the icing decoration is, as long as there's a shitload of it. Gimme the big blue rose on the end! I don't mind that my teeth will be stained for the next two days. Really.

Just yesterday as I was getting a cup of coffee at work I noticed an unsupervised sheet cake sitting on one of the break tables. It looked like there had been about 5 or six 3"x3" pieces cut already. Around it was a stack of paper plates and plastic forks. I looked on top but the writing was illegible. Someone's birthday. Someone whose name starts with the letter E. I believe there was a tree on it? Who cares. Again nobody is around so naturally I sneak a piece. The best part is that nobody saw me so I was free to get another piece later! Geeeenious.
This page is an homage to ugly sheet cakes. And sheet cake in general I suppose. If you or anyone you love has made what has turned out to be an ugly sheet cake, please send me a pic to mbumpus@gmail.com!
Here's a gem to start off with from the lovely Etta Maims....